wildflower

Hi Buddies.  First off, let me apologize for my abrupt but rather brief hiatus from blogging…surprising, even myself, with the decision. But, I have to tell you, the doubts which I had started having as to its benefits have seemed to have been turned around.  I had been through quite a lot lately, and falling back to my “old” coping skills, I let my mind, defeat me, and hinder my goals.  I became withdrawn from all the wonderful and positive things I have in my life and basically, gave up on the thought that my life would ever take a turn for the better, and that I was “destined” to always follow the path of failure, sorrow, or some sort of debilitating grief.

Now, hold on a second, don’t go anywhere yet… This isn’t another sad, negative blog.  Some things have changed.

Now, I don’t know if it was the fact that I had some very special people, (all of you here on this site), keeping me in your prayers.  Or, if it was just knowing that I was, which has kept me going these past few weeks.  But, I believe I have found a renewed faith in myself, and in the power of prayer in general.  I’m still lacking in the religious department, but it is, slowly… returning.

I woke up this morning, took my usual drive, and as I turned the corner coming home, I saw the sunrise along the ocean.  At that moment life just felt different.  It wasn’t the usual warm summer morning, a little chilly…and suddenly, there it was.  Hope.  More than that even.  It was an overwhelming feeling that things were changing…and this time for the better, maybe even the best.  I no longer felt defeated.  I no longer had that feeling of impending doom and I suddenly felt that “things” were no longer going to be hard to cope with anymore.  Maybe God just felt, I had been given enough tribulation, that maybe, I had finally learned what I was meant to, and it was time for him to lighten my load.

I’m coming back.  It’s not just about weight loss anymore.  It’s about my happiness, my life.  I’m choosing to live it to its fullest, and live it smiling.

And, Angela…I want to thank you, for everything.  Hearing the care, the love, the smiles in your voice and knowing you were praying for me, helped me more than you’ll ever know.  Like so many people on here say…you truly are an ANGEL.

My thanks to everyone…